This is my first blog post in approximately 6 months or so. After the last few posts, I made a silent promise to the one person that reads this blog (shout out to you mom) that the next post wouldn’t be political. Clearly, without my unsolicited political opinions, I have nothing to say because I haven’t been able to come up with a viable topic to write about in all that time.
Currently I am at work. It’s Friday, July 1st and a three-day weekend is nigh. Needless to say, there will be VERY little actual work getting done today, which is exactly what put us on the road to this blog entry.
Can I just take a second to complain about how tired I am today? For someone that loves sleeping as much as I do, I don’t seem to be very good at it. With that said, let me point out that there’s a good chance my tiredness will lead to quite the attitude problem as we dive head first into this riveting blog entry. Get ready for quite the rollercoaster ride…
With that disclaimer out of the way, I ask you: what’s the deal with social media? This blog post will go a lot more smoothly if you read that question in Jerry Seinfeld’s voice, like I did when I typed it.
But really. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t consider deleting every form of social media I have. In this age of oversharing and media oversaturation, I’ve pretty much had enough.
Typically, I make it a conscious choice not to post anything political on social media because I don’t think it’s the place for it. However, even I have fallen into the Facebook political sinkhole this election season. It’s hard not to when you’re overstuffed with the spewing ignorance of people that haven’t taken the time to fact check before just regurgitating someone else’s opinion. But I digress.
When we’re not being inundated with the political views of our neighbor’s second cousin’s wife that we met that one time at a barbeque and reluctantly accepted her friend request the next day and, for reasons unknown even to ourselves, are still Facebook friends with her two years later even though we haven’t seen her since, we’re being overrun with bible quotes or those inspirational memes that are all the fuss these days.
Ugh. Memes. They’re as overused and perplexingly prevalent as Kim Kardashian. You know the ones I mean. Those inspirational quotes that you see posted and re-posted by 20 different people on your newsfeed on any given day. The worst thing about them isn’t even the fact that they keep popping up like a bad penny or a common case of herpes, it’s the fact that 75% of the time they’re not even accurate. Yeah, that’s right, that Marilyn Monroe quote you’re so excited about, was never uttered by the world’s most famous blond. As an experiment, I’m going to create my own meme using a quote from Jessica Simpson but attribute it to Martin Luther King and see if anyone notices. Spoiler alert: they won’t.
And, listen, I’ve long ago accepted the fact that you’re going to post picture after picture of your “super cute” kid ad nauseum, it’s what parents do. Once you’ve decided to procreate, you stop having your own life and become a puppet controlled only by the sheer will of your child. I get it. That said, you’re super touching post addressed to your child on his first birthday about what a blessing he is and how much you love him is just for attention. You know it. I know it. Your friends know it. Your mom knows it. Just stop it. Your kid has no idea that post exists, he isn’t even old enough to read it. You didn’t post it with the intention of him ever seeing it, you posted it to get attention for yourself. Cut it out. (This post will go a lot more smoothly if you do NOT read that last sentence in the voice of Uncle Joey from Full House.)
Ok, last point I’m going to make because, really, this post could go on forever if I let it. The internet provides me with a never ending source of things to bitch about.
Possibly the worst social media offense to date is the ‘overly lovey couple posts’. If you have to constantly post on each other’s walls about how perfect you both are and how in love you are and blah blah blah blah barf, then 9 times out of 10 your relationship is not good. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news here but it’s not. If you need everyone you know to witness that illusion then it’s just that, an illusion. Also, if you’re one of these people then 10 times out of 10 you’re a douchebag and everyone you are connected to on social media knows it and discusses it. Fyi.
Next time you log onto one of your social media accounts, take some of this into consideration. Put a little thought into what you’re posting before you actually post it. Make the world a better place. Stop the douchebaggery. It’s like the great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said: “When it comes to social media, keep it light and keep it tight.”
True Hope Is Swift 